Teen Love?

Though I tend to make fun of the over dramatic teenagers, that seem to be "in love" with every two week relationship they come across, I've found myself to be stuck in that category as well. Although in the past 3 years I have only been in two relationships I've regrettably tossed around the three letter phrase as if it were a given. I can't say i didn't mean it. Andrew and I were together two and a half years, a long relationship considering our age. Truth be told I did love him, but i think theres a big difference between "love" and "in love" and I just can't say i was "in love" with him. We connected through music, and our love for the art, and though he swore he would one day make me his wife, i couldn't help but think there was something else to being "in love" then i could, at that time, understand. Breaking up with Andrew was the hardest thing i have ever done. He was a very sweet person, a hopeless romantic, who showered me in affection, we had a perfectly healthy relationship, so explaining to him why i needed to break up with him was hard. Even to this day he doesn't understand it completely and i don't know how else to explain it to him.

Three months ago I met Sam. I wasn't expecting much out of the relationship at first, just a few laughs and a good time, But as each day would pass i'm finding more then just a good time. He's a very smart guy, and try's to understand my deep way of thinking, and challenges me to think in a simpler way. He catches me off guard a lot. We could be laughing having a cup of coffee when he'll stop and just stare at me, like he's trying to concentrate on something. He'll just stare into my eyes and though i feel as if i should look away my eyes refuse to leave his. This has happened a number of times, and each time surprises me. Often while thinking about him i have gotten light headed and needed to sit down, and every time we kiss its like the first. Our lips touch, lightly at first, but a wave of passion takes over and a fire starts in the pit of my stomach, my head swims unable to complete a thought, the world around us melts away and all thats left is us. It takes a bit of strength to pull away, and our face still hover close to each other, our eyes closed our breath shallow. I feel the three little words begin to form on my tongue, but i'm quick to swallow them, my stomach hurts as it try's to reject them, but i'm strong to make sure they stay down. This happens every night. Every kiss.....every word.......every touch......I'm growing weaker everyday, trying to refrain from saying I love you, because I refuse to say it again until i know that i'm "in love" and not just another hopeless teenager looking for "Mr. Right" and only finding "Mr. Right Now"